A blog listing of New Jersey Bloggers

Monday, December 17, 2007

How To Survive a Day in New Jersey

I found this on another blog and thought it was funny.

1. First, you must learn how to pronounce Newark....It is New-erk, not New-ark.

(Actually, it's pronounced 'NORK'.)

2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00 a.m. to noon. The evening rush
hour is from noon to 7:00 p.m. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday
morning.

3. The minimum acceptable speed on the turnpike is 85 mph. On the
Garden State Parkway it's 105 or 110. Anything less is considered
'Wussy.'

4. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Jersey has its own
version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
go second. However, in Monmouth County , SUV-driving, cell
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.

5. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
cussed out, and possibly shot.

6. Never honk at anyone. EVER. It's another offense that can get you shot.

7. Road construction is permanent and continuous in all of Jersey .
Detour barrels are moved around for your entertainment during the
middle of the night to make the next day's driving a bit "more
exciting".

8. Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs,
cats, barrels, cones, celebs, rubber-neckers, shredded tires,
cell-phoners, deer and other road kill and other drivers trying to, you know, hit 'em.

9. Mapquest does not work here -- none of the roads are where they say
they are or go where they say they do. And all the Turnpike EZ pass
lanes are moved each night once again to make your ride more exciting.

10. If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been 'accidentally
activated.'

11. If you are in the left lane and only driving 70 in a 55-65mph
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be 'flipped off'
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.

12. Do not try to estimate travel time -- just leave Monday afternoon
for Tuesday appointments, by noon Thursday for Friday, and right after
church on Sunday for anything on Monday morning.

This was posted by Liz at http://www.thisfullhouse.com/this_full_house/2007/11/i-love-you-mean.html

And yes Liz I do know what your talking about. I live in North Jersey.

32 comments:

  1. You might want to take a look at this site.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Thanks for the link and we must carpool, one day!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Thanks Jim, yes I already found that site and plan to add it to my links.

    Just been busy with the holidays and all my other blogs but I appreciate you giving me the link again. It will be up soon.

    Sounds great Liz. Your welcome.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I work in "Nork". Found these tips to be funny and sad but true. On Saturday March 1 the new cell phone ban goes into effect. I'm curious to see how that challenge to Jersey drivers will play out.

    BTW, I live in New York State, and the drivers there aren't any better.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Thanks for posting Larry.
    I'm glad I'm not driving and I'm guessing most people will still talk on their cell phone. Just maybe they'll be more careful but we'll see.

    And I have driven in NY so I know how NY'ers drive too.lol

    ReplyDelete
  6. So true! Great post! www(dot)jerseytrashclothing(dot)com

    ReplyDelete
  7. I absolutely love your blog and find the majority of your post's to be what precisely I'm looking
    for. Does one offer guest writers to write content in your
    case? I wouldn't mind producing a post or elaborating on some of the subjects you write related to here. Again, awesome blog!
    My web site :: the truth teller show

    ReplyDelete
  8. Right now it sounds like Movable Type is the preferred blogging platform available right now.
    (from what I've read) Is that what you are using on your blog?
    my site :: click through the up coming post

    ReplyDelete
  9. I have read so many content regarding the blogger lovers however this post is really
    a nice article, keep it up.
    My blog cheap iPhone 5 for sale online

    ReplyDelete
  10. Great blog! Do you have any helpful hints for aspiring writers?
    I'm hoping to start my own site soon but I'm a little lost
    on everything. Would you suggest starting with a free platform
    like Wordpress or go for a paid option? There are so many choices
    out there that I'm totally overwhelmed .. Any suggestions? Bless you!

    My site krankenkasse wechseln

    ReplyDelete
  11. Its like you read my mind! You seem to know a lot about this,
    like you wrote the book in it or something. I think that you can do with a few
    pics to drive the message home a little bit, but instead
    of that, this is fantastic blog. An excellent read.
    I'll definitely be back.

    My site; high paying affiliate programs
    my page - affiliates wanted

    ReplyDelete
  12. Great article. I am dealing with some of these issues as well.
    .

    Also visit my weblog :: real work at home jobs no scams no fees

    ReplyDelete
  13. As the admin of this web site is working, no doubt very rapidly it will be famous, due to its quality contents.


    My web page billige krankenversicherung f�r selbst�ndige

    ReplyDelete
  14. Hey there, I think your website might be having browser compatibility issues.
    When I look at your blog in Opera, it looks
    fine but when opening in Internet Explorer, it has some overlapping.
    I just wanted to give you a quick heads up! Other then that, excellent blog!


    Also visit my site - online Shop kleidung günstig

    ReplyDelete
  15. Wonderful website. Plenty of helpful information
    here. I am sending it to some pals ans also sharing in delicious.

    And certainly, thanks in your sweat!

    Here is my web site: vergleich private und gesetzliche krankenversicherung
    My page: ratgeber private krankenversicherung

    ReplyDelete
  16. Write more, thats all I have to say. Literally, it seems as
    though you relied on the video to make your
    point. You obviously know what youre talking about,
    why waste your intelligence on just posting videos to your site when you could be giving us something informative to read?



    Here is my web blog; new home businesses

    ReplyDelete
  17. Hello there! Would you mind if I share your blog with my twitter group?
    There's a lot of folks that I think would really enjoy your content. Please let me know. Thank you

    Feel free to visit my page: home Mortgage loans with bad credit
    My website - http://globalwomenssummits.com/node/4747/

    ReplyDelete
  18. I need some very ideas which will loosen up the atmosphere
    as my students are extremely serious. Any word games or writing games are appreciated!

    .

    Here is my page: transvaginal mesh compensation

    ReplyDelete
  19. Thanks for finally writing about > "How To Survive a Day in New Jersey" < Liked it!

    Also visit my web page bkk

    ReplyDelete
  20. Hi there, constantly i used to check website posts here in the
    early hours in the morning, since i love to gain knowledge of more and more.


    My web site; Affiliate Marketing programs

    ReplyDelete
  21. Right now it sounds like Expression Engine is the best blogging platform available right now.

    (from what I've read) Is that what you are using on your blog?

    My web page - http://fbibo.com/

    ReplyDelete
  22. Hello to all, how is everything, I think every one is getting more from this web page, and your views are good
    in support of new users.

    Feel free to surf to my page balboa island vacation rentals

    ReplyDelete
  23. Fine way of describing, and nice article to take facts about
    my presentation subject, which i am going to present in institution of higher education.


    Also visit my web-site - web hosting reseller cpanel

    ReplyDelete
  24. I like to all a touch of shade when resolving Christmas card "envelopes".
    Is it hard to add a little "clip craft" sweet cane or Christmas Bells or Minature Christmas tree when using labels?

    Believe I will certainly begin making use of labels this year.


    Many thanks!
    Ellen.

    my web-site: thisolddress.blogspot.co.uk

    ReplyDelete
  25. I've lately been diagnosed with bladder cancer cells and check out that it takes some time to develop.

    Here is my blog ... maniascc.com.nu

    ReplyDelete
  26. Somebody necessarily lend a hand to make severely articles I'd state. This is the very first time I frequented your website page and thus far? I amazed with the analysis you made to create this particular submit amazing. Magnificent process!

    my homepage :: sex voyeur

    ReplyDelete
  27. I was suggested this web site through my cousin. I'm no longer certain whether this publish is written by him as nobody else recognise such specific approximately my problem. You're
    incredible! Thanks!

    my blog; http://sexygirlchat.net

    ReplyDelete
  28. Hi there to every body, it's my first visit of this website; this webpage consists of remarkable and actually fine material in support of visitors.

    My weblog: xerox 8560dn printer

    ReplyDelete
  29. Thanks worked initial time!

    Also visit my webpage; xerox phaser 8560 toner
    - -

    ReplyDelete
  30. I loved as much as you'll receive carried out right here. The sketch is attractive, your authored material stylish. nonetheless, you command get bought an impatience over that you wish be delivering the following. unwell unquestionably come more formerly again since exactly the same nearly very often inside case you shield this increase.

    Also visit my site - LG 42LS5600 Review

    ReplyDelete
  31. Ρгetty section of contеnt. I just stumbled
    upon youг site and in acceѕsion capitаl to aѕѕert that I get
    actually enjoyed acсount your blоg posts.

    Anуway Ι'll be subscribing to your feeds and even I achievement you access consistently rapidly.

    Review my web blog: custom facebook page

    ReplyDelete
  32. Yes, you can do this IF your Christmas card listing
    has data source layout AND you know ways to deal with Mail Merge in
    your word processor. Otherwise, this is the drive for my idea.
    Yes, it takes time in advance the first year, but afterward
    it is birthday cake.

    Also visit my blog; xerox Phaser 8560Dn

    ReplyDelete

Search Spiders follow your comments.